Reuben and Cynthia
, a short history.
Modern Ditty
Sparky, Sparky, I've been thinking,
What the heck have you been drinking,
Could be whisky, could be wine,
Oh my gosh! It's turpentine!
When I was in college, a girlfriend used to sing this ditty to me. It would stick in my head for days at a time. Recently I came across a variation of the same tune on a set of children's records called "Singing Science Records"... and then again on a 1901 cylinder recording with Frank C. Stanley. I've also discovered that many people learned a variation as a 'jumping rope tune' in the 1950s. So I fired up my old Commoder PET 64 and did a little research.
Reuben and Rachel
It seems that in 1871, William Gouch and Harry Birch wrote a conversational duet, called "Reuben and Rachel".
Reuben, I have long been thinking
What a good world this might be
If the men were all transported
Far Beyond the Northern Sea.
Rachel, I have long been thinking
What a fine world this might be
If we had some more young ladies
On this side of the Northern Sea.
Reuben, I'm a poor young woman.
No one seems to care for me;
I wish the men were all transported
Far beyond the Northern sea.
I'm a man without a victim,
Soon I think there's one will be,
If the men are not transported
Far beyond the Northern Sea.
[From the liner notes of "I Wants to Be a Actor Lady and Other Hits from Early Musical Comedies", New World Records 80221-2.]
Reuben and Cynthia
And then in 1891 (ten years later), playwright Charles H. Hoyt collaborated with musical director Percy Gaunt to produce a Broadway play called "A Trip to Chinatown". When they needed a number for the supper-party scene... they whipped up their own interpretation.
CYNTHIA:
Reuben, Reuben, I've a notion,
If the men were sent away
Far beyond the stormy ocean,
Female hearts would all be gay.
REUBEN:
Cynthia, Cynthia, I've been thinking,
If the men should take that trip,
All the women in creation
Right away would take that ship.
CYNTHIA:
Reuben, Reuben, I've been thinking,
What a strange thing it would be
If the streams of drinking water
All turn'd salty as the sea.
REUBEN:
Cynthia, Cynthia, I've been thinking,
You can safely take my word:
More than half the population
Wouldn't know it had occurr'd.
CYNTHIA:
Reuben, Reuben, I've been thinking,
Will you tell me where or when
Women will be forc'd to stop this
Doing things just like the men?
REUBEN:
Cynthia, Cynthia, I've been thinking
And can answer with despatch:
She must cease her mannish methods
When she comes to strike a match.
CYNTHIA:
Reuben, Reuben, I've been thinking,
Why do people risk their gold
Betting on the wicked races,
Knowing they are bought and sold?
REUBEN:
Cynthia, Cynthia, I've been thinking,
That is where the laugh comes in:
Each man thinks that he has fix'd it
So the horse he backs will win.
[From the liner notes of "I Wants to Be a Actor Lady and Other Hits from Early Musical Comedies", New World Records 80221-2.]
Frank C. Stanley
And then in 1901 (another ten years later), Frank C. Stanley (baritone) recorded a duet with Corinne Morgan (soprano) for Columbia Phonograph Company. Actually, it seems he recorded several versions: cylinders #7998, #9324, and #31611. The sound quality is best on #7998, but the pacing is most like what I remember on #31611. Copies can be found at: UCSB Cylinders Library
Artist: Frank C. Stanley
Album: Columbia 31611 (1901)
Title: Reuben and Cynthia
Type: brown wax cylinder
From the musical "A Trip to Chinatown"
ANNOUNCER
"Reuben and Cynthia", by Miss Morgan and Mr. Stanley, Columbia Records.
CYNTHIA
Reuben, Reuben, I've a notion,
If the men were sent away
Far beyond the stormy ocean,
Female hearts would all be gay.
REUBEN
Cynthia, Cynthia, I've been thinking,
If the men should take that trip,
All the women in creation
right away would take that ship.
REUBEN
(Say Cynthia, I think it was mean of your father to kick me out the way he did last night.)
CYNTHIA
(Is that so? Well, Reuben, I think it served you just right.)
REUBEN
(Well, I'm gonna give him a piece of my mind the very next time I see him.)
CYNTHIA
(Don't you do it, Reuben, don't you do it. You haven't got no mind to spare.)
REUBEN
(Hmm. Is that so? Well, let's sing...)
CYNTHIA
Reuben, Reuben, I been thinking,
What a strange thing it would be
If the streams of drinking water
All turn'd salty as the sea.
REUBEN
Cynthia, Cynthia, I've been thinking,
You can safely take my word:
More than half the population
Wouldn't know it had occurred.
REUBEN
(Say Cynthia? Your nose looks suspiciously red this morning.)
CYNTHIA
(Is that so? Well, now, see here, Reuben, I'll have you understand, sir, that my face is my fortune.)
REUBEN
(Well, it's no crime to be poor, Cynthia. Let's dance...)
[transcribed by ear, by www.otrplotspot.com... corrections welcome]
"What's Inside Our Earth"
Then in the late 1950s and early 1960s, Hy Zaret and Lou Singer produced a series of six LPs for children with science-based themes. Three of the albums were performed by Tom Glazer (who also sings on "The Green Hills of Earth" [Dimension X and X Minus One], and "Missouri Legend" and "The Farmer Takes a Wife" from NBC Presents: Best Plays.
One of the albums featured Dorothy Collins and included a song called "What's Inside Our Earth?". [The same song was later included on the album Why, Mommy?, where it was sung by Tom Glazer.] The tune is very similar to "Reuben and Cynthia".
Our Earth is like a great big grapefruit
Twenty-five thousand miles around,
On the outside, land and water
And the atmosphere are found.
Inside the Earth there's rock and mineral
Twenty-five thousand miles around,
Lighter rock is near the surface
Heavier rock is way deep down.
The outer part is called the crust
The centre is the core,
From core to crust, the Earth is just
A lot of rock and ore.
Our Earth is like a great big grapefruit
Twenty-five thousand miles around,
You could dig from here to China,
If you could dig through the ground.
But you can't.
~~~
Our Earth is like a great big grapefruit
Twenty-five thousand miles around,
You could dig from here to China,
If you could dig through the ground.
But you can't.
The entire set is once again being published. This time by Harbinger Records. Digital copies can be purchased through iTunes or Amazon.